morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
