I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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