Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
