Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
