this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
