i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
