he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
