I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
