well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
