I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm at about main and main street
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
