Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
My ass is underappreciated
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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