oh god the rape fog is back!
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Randomize
