Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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