clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
