i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
