my mouth tastes like poor choices
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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