I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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