I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
