OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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