if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize