some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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