You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
