I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
