I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
