I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
