Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
