I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
