I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
