...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
