last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
