he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
