Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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