Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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