I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
