you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Randomize
