his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
