im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
The uberlube is also flammable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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