the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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