I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
then he tried to convert me to islam
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
