a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
