we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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