did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
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I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
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