brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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