look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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