Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
