The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
