he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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