last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
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He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
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There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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