She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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