At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
