it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
