i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
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As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
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i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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