I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
