but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
