Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
