Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
