this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
