Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize