I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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