one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
This is my gift to your gina
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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