he shaved USA in his pubs
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
