so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Two words: blizzard sex
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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