Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
