Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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