love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
