My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
