am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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