im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
