Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize