Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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