make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
